I try to eat healthy... but every once in a while, I find a 'healthy' product that just ISN'T HEALTHY.
Take-- the BUMBLE BAR.
It has flax seeds in it, which are touted to have health benefits. It also is gluten-free and sugar-free. Wheat-free and dairy-free, too. It has a butt-load of sesame seeds, though. Two butt-loads, really.
What you're left with, is a SEEDY, high-calorie, high-fat, low-fiber nightmare.
How did I get intimately acquainted with the Bumble Bar? My friend's mom is a health-food champion and she mailed out 3 cases of Bumble Bars to my friend. That's over 300 of the dreaded Bumble Bars. Desperate to pawn off the bars, my friend begged me to take some. 'Some' translated into '40. Various flavors, various levels of seedy hell.
Once you bite into a bumble bar, say good-bye to clean teeth. The seeds become wedged into every crevice. (Like a bad case of parsley-teeth.) Bumble bars are also dangerous for your fillings. They taste like you're eating something stolen from the bird's feeding dish. And, by the way, stay near a bathroom for several hours after eating a Bumble Bar. One exit. No waiting.
Thus, I am now considering mailing my Bumble Bars to: all annoying family members, Osama Bin Laden, and the RNP headquarters. They're all very deserving of a Bumble Bar -- or two.
6 comments:
Don't get any ideas about sending them this way!
Wait...
Come to think of it...you CAN send them to me! I'll put all 40 of them out on the table in the staff room table--and they'll be GONE by lunchtime!!
The problem with THAT would be... the piggies would be lined up for the bathroom and unable to perform their duties! Then YOU would have to step in and cover. Better to leave the Bumble Bars out on a day when you were NOT working. Heh heh.
You are all Lame!!!
I just tried them for the first time and they are actually pretty good. Yes, they do get a little seedy but overall they are not bad...and as for staying near a bathroom.....no problems here or for my other 2 roommates who also tried them.
Actually, a Bumble Bar has 5 grams, or 19 percent, of your daily fiber, I wouldnt call that low fiber for a snack bar! It has 230 calories, not terrible, and its pretty tasty with 6 grams of protein.
I LOVE Bumble Bars! My disorder requires that I include a certain amount of protein at each meal, and 6G in a serving is plenty! Plus it's lower in carbs at 17G than most of the other (nasty, overly sugary, I might add) energy bars on the market - AND it tastes GREAT! Flax seeds ARE good for you - they just contain huge amounts of fiber (19% in a serving,which could amount to several bowls of cereal, depending on the cereal in question) - the problem with flax is that most people eat so badly with so little fiber intake (read: white flour, white sugar, & other refined foods) that any appreciable amount of fiber has the potential to send an uninitiated colon into total poo-shock!
exactly! the reason that person who posted has to stay near bathroom is because they are so full of fiber...
awww... but they do have "cane juice"
I'd be happy to have yours...
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