Survivor -- No Problem!

On Thursday evenings, I have 90 minutes of peace and quiet. A veritable oasis of tranquility in my otherwise overscheduled life. Rugrats are abed and USMCMan is out kicking ass at his jujitsu dojo. Rock on, buddy.

I was pretty much wiped out and decided to treat myself to a beer (Shiner Bock out of TX, yum!) and some vegging out in front of the TV. *snick* open beer. *click* turn on tv to... 'Survivor -- Fiji'.

I have seen this show before and I'm pretty sure you have, too. The contestants, however, seem AMAZED that they are left on an island to starve, freeze, get sunburned, bug-bitten, or whatever. It's like they've never seen the previous God-knows-how-many versions of the show. "We're sooooo hungry!" "I don't know if I can take being away from my family!"

Wah.

Perhaps they should have watched Survivor reruns on USA Network? Hell-o!

So, I enjoyed my ice-cold beer and watched gaunt, starving nincompoops stagger around an obstacle course and root around in the mud for grubs and smushed pinapples to eat. Bliss!

They really need a librarian on 'Survivor'. We would first research a) how to make fire without flint/steel, b) how to find food in a tropical setting, and c) how to prepare food with minimum of supplies. Wouldn't you think these contestants would learn how to do that before being dropped off on a remote island? You'd THINK SO, but NOOOOOO! A librarian would also be a good schemer for the game and smart enough to put on the library "I'm looking polite and innofensive" face so as not to attract attention and get booted off the island too early. Do I think I could do well on 'Survivor'? Hell, yes! As long as I didn't have to wear a bikini (ick) and got my eyes lasiked so I didn't have to have glasses it would be a snap! Plus, I would consider 30 days away from my kids a luxury vacation, even if I DID have to pee in the woods.

Somebody call Jeff Probst and sign me up. Just let me finish my beer first.