We have friends with a truly ugly baby. This child was POUNDED with an ugly stick. Beaten with the power of *UGH*. We'll call him "Gruesome".
Before you accuse me of being overly critical, allow me to point out that I am aware of what IS or IS NOT considered "cute" and even have admitted that Thing II is not the best looking baby in the world. (She's not butt-ugly, but she isn't a Gerber baby, either. She's a solid little chunker kid with a gap-toothed smile and a mean scream. Cute, but not lovely.)
Anyway, I was put on the spot by Gruesome's mother. She said (and I quote), "Seriously, Infomatrix, do you think Gruesome is ugly? Tell me the truth, now!"
Dear readers, I blanched with horror when I heard this question. Did I...
- Crush all her dreams of bringing up a young Brad Pitt by saying, "Yes, your child has all the appeal of a bowl of warm vomit." or...
- Lie like mad and hope my nose doesn't grow as I assure her of her child's "good looks".
Well, I admit to taking a somewhat middle road. I said, "Gruesome is a very handsome child."
Note: Elenore Roosevelt was described as handsome. Prize-winning pugs are handsome. Get the drift?
She seemed confused by my answer, which was a good thing. Confusion to my enemies! (And neighbors, in this case.) Luckily, at that point, I was able to move the conversation on to other, safer things, like religion and politics.
What would YOU have said?
3 comments:
Wow, you're a LOT more diplomatic and quick-on-the-draw than I would have been.
I would have just lied through my teeth and said, "oh of course Gruesome isn't ugly!!"
This is in the same vein that I tell library patrons, "Yes, I'm HAPPY to help you!"
Just remember to keep your fangs from showing when you say that. Remember our motto: "Service with a SNARL!"
First, I know we don't use real names here, but GRUESOME?! THAT is just mean, and really damn funny!
Second, I would have to take the high although dangerous road of truth for two reasons. Tact has never been my strong point, and those who know me know I can't tell a convincing lie to save my life. So I would have tried something like, "I didn't want to say anything, but since you asked, your baby is a LITTLE on the ugly side, but aren't we all at one time or another?"
What do you think?
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