You Snake In The Grass!

I like snakes. They're inoffensive, clean, quiet, and eat nasty vermin and/or bugs. Snakes try to stay away from people, don't crap in your yard (much) and don't shed. Plus, they're cool to look at. The big problem comes from people who don't know how to live with snakes--like the Lowe's family next door to me. (You remember the Lowe's? They're the ones with 5,000 pieces of lawn furniture, gee-gaws, and potted plants in their yard?)

For the last week or so, the snakes have been active in our corner of the universe. Baby snakes are coming out of their nest, parent snakes are feeding-- it's a big snake jamboree out here in NC. I personally haven't seen any snakes in my yard. If they feel like visiting, that's fine. If they don't bother me, I won't bother them. We don't have anything to attract them in our yard, anyway-- a deliberate decision on my part. Three days ago, Ms. Lowe's comes squawking over to my yard bellowing about "Snaaaaakes! Snakes in my yard!" Apparently, she had seen several crossing, heading toward her yard. They were leaving the neighbor's lawn/woods and heading for the Lowe's garden extravaganza. She actually tried to run them over with her big-ass Suburban! How uncool is that?

Since that day, she's found 4 or so more snakes in her yard. She's all bent out of shape about it because she fears they might be poisonous. This is a good possibility--NC has several poisonous snakes, including the Cottonmouth. So she runs out to-- you guessed it, LOWE'S -- and buys all the 'Snake-Away' they have. (Yes, that is a real product.) It has cottonballs and some other chemical in it that supposedly neutralizes the encroaching snake and encourages them to not cross the line of 'Snake-Away'. Last night, our area of the neighborhood smelled like a sweater closet. PU! Poor, long-suffering Mr. Lowe's was out dutifully sprinkling the stinky stuff around their property perimiter. He also dusted behind our house, although I told him we hadn't seen any on our property at all. Thank you for stinkin' up the joint, Mr. Lowe's.

Dear reader, WHY would a snake go out of its way to visit the Lowe's family yard? Not to admire the lawn gnomes, I'm sure. Only three things would attract the snakes: shelter, water, or food. We border a river/marsh area, so they've got LOTS of shelter and water. Could it be... perhaps... the digusting flocks of birds that the Lowe's family PERSISTS upon feeding? Yes, stupidly, the Lowe's family feeds the birds 24/7, year-round. Not just the song birds, but also the flying rats like pigeons and doves. There must be 12 or more feeders all around their lawn. WHY are the snakes visiting? It's a freakin' food-fest for them next-door! The smell of the birds must be calling snakes from blocks around. We don't feed the birds at my house, hence, no snakes. (Why would you feed birds in the summer, anyway? Bird feeders are for winter, when the birds are having trouble locating food. IMHO)

So. We'll see how the snake problem evolves. I'm just concerned with keeping Thing1 and Thing2 away from the slitherzone. Has anyone else had snake problems and if so, what did you do to rid yourself of them?