I drive the same road four times per day while taking my child to school. After a while, certain landmarks tend to stand out. The gas stations, the drive-thrus, and the little churches with their billboards decorated with pithy religious sayings. Just an aside: Dang! There are a lot of churches in the South! Churches I have never heard of before. Baptist, Free Will Baptist, Baptist Independent, Baptist Missionary, Baptist Pentecostal Free Will, Southern Baptist... Yeesh! The Catholics and Episcopalians are seriously outgunned in this area of the USA.
Back to the rant. Normally, I enjoy reading these church signs--they usually have a cute and upbeat messages like: "A Clean Conscience Makes a Soft Pillow" or "Forbidden Fruits Cause Many Jams" or "This Church is Prayer Conditioned". They crack me up and they're usually non-offensive, so I like that as well.
Except for one church, Christ's Pure Holiness Church. I believe this church is involved in a plot to drive me insane. Why? They cannot spell AND they use improper grammar! I am FORCED to see their sign four times a day and it is ALWAYS WRONG. It should be named The Church of the Illiterate Bible Thumpers. This week's horribly wrong saying: It's Not To Late to Be Saved.
Couldn't they spare an 'o'? Doesn't anyone SAY anything on Sunday morning? "Hey, did anyone notice we're missing a letter?" (This saying has been posted for two weeks now, so it's not as if the letter just dropped off or got stolen.)
Two weeks ago, the saying was, "The path to Hell are filled with unfinished promises." AAAUGH!
I may have to pull over and edit their sign. I'll probably get arrested, but at least I'd be able to sleep in my cell with a feeling of peace, knowing that the stupid sign is spelled correctly!
I didn't even bother to spell-check this blog entry. I'm too worn out. If you see a typo, ignore it.
3 comments:
My church, CHURCH OF BEER!
Get behind something you faith in!
Saw a classic over Memorial Day weekend in a lakeside resort town. "Exposure to the son may prevent burning" ARGH
We have some Church of the Holy Something or Other here in town that has those pithy sayings on their sign too. Didn't realize it was a nationwide phenomenon.
There's no escaping signs with incorrect spelling or punctuation though--given the intelligence and education level of the great unwashed.
My favorite sign EVER was in a pet store, on the side of the open tanks holding the guinea pigs. It MEANT to say, "Caution! Small Furry Critters May Bite!" ...What it ACTUALLY said was, "Caution! Small FURY Critters May Bite!"
ArmyGuy and I laughed so loud and so hard, the manager actually came over to see what was going on. We pointed at the sign through gales of laughter and tear-filled eyes--and he DIDN'T GET IT!! Then we laughed even harder and ran out of the store before he THREW us out!
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