Eat the Eclair...Or Fall Asleep?

I found this old video clip today. It is of Thing2 at dinner. We'd given her half of an eclair and although she was exhausted and really needed to be put to bed, she was determined to eat the darned thing. Wouldn't want to give up a prize like that, right?

Valiantly, she fights the siren song of sleep, struggling to stuff every bit of chocolatey goodness into her mouth...

Mean, Mean, Oh Yes, I'm MEAN! Evil Toys, Anyone?

I've discovered that one of the best ways to annoy, 'get back' at, or completely piss someone off is to purchase a completely inappropriate toy for their child. Especially a toy that the child loves, plays loud music or annoying noises, and has no OFF button.

Heh.

My brother (the village idiot) and his wife (the village idiot's keeper) have an almost-2 year old son. My goal for his birthday this year is to completely send them both around the bend by purchasing the above Hummer toy. It moves with a touch of a button (easy enough for a 2 year old) and plays, LOUDLY either 'YMCA' or 'CAN'T TOUCH THIS' while bouncing up and down like a monkey on crack. Can you stand it??? I'm in hysterics just thinking about it.

I'm sure my nephew will adore it and I'm sure his parents will hate it. Ah. Bliss.

Does anyone have any other suggestions for EVIL TOYS?

Mental Block

I'm usually a very organized person. I make to-do lists, crossing off my accomplishments. I like my books organized by author and even in order of series publication. I even love French beans because they are so orderly (they line up in the pan in little neat rows). Yes, this is admittedly over-organized, but it helps me keep on track and focused.

Why, oh WHY then can I not organize my recipes? I have a box of home-recipes that I use, collected from friends and family over the years, and I just CANNOT get myself to sit down and put them in order. They're crammed higgeldy-piggledy into a too-small box and I always have to take everything out and paw through piles of cards and clippings to find what I want.

I even have THREE empty card files ready to hold my 'organized' recipes... but I just can't get myself to organize them. CAN NOT DO IT!

Why is this? I have my medicine cabinet all managed. My soup cans are stacked neatly. My spices are (mostly) in alphabetical order. What is my issue with organizing my recipe cards?

I'm drawing a blank here. Any thoughts? Suggestions? Comments? Recipes you'd like to give me?

Beware the Bumble Bar!

I try to eat healthy... but every once in a while, I find a 'healthy' product that just ISN'T HEALTHY.

Take-- the BUMBLE BAR.

It has flax seeds in it, which are touted to have health benefits. It also is gluten-free and sugar-free. Wheat-free and dairy-free, too. It has a butt-load of sesame seeds, though. Two butt-loads, really.

What you're left with, is a SEEDY, high-calorie, high-fat, low-fiber nightmare.

How did I get intimately acquainted with the Bumble Bar? My friend's mom is a health-food champion and she mailed out 3 cases of Bumble Bars to my friend. That's over 300 of the dreaded Bumble Bars. Desperate to pawn off the bars, my friend begged me to take some. 'Some' translated into '40. Various flavors, various levels of seedy hell.

Once you bite into a bumble bar, say good-bye to clean teeth. The seeds become wedged into every crevice. (Like a bad case of parsley-teeth.) Bumble bars are also dangerous for your fillings. They taste like you're eating something stolen from the bird's feeding dish. And, by the way, stay near a bathroom for several hours after eating a Bumble Bar. One exit. No waiting.

Thus, I am now considering mailing my Bumble Bars to: all annoying family members, Osama Bin Laden, and the RNP headquarters. They're all very deserving of a Bumble Bar -- or two.

Pay Your Library Fine, Cheap Bastards!

I always choose the wrong line.

Grocery store, movie queue, whatever. It's always the one with the FREAK in it who is complaining or paying with a German bond or something wierd.

Today, it was a trip to the library that landed me behind the nutty old fart who refused to pay his fine, yet seemed to think he was entitled to check out multiple new DVDs.

After standing for 10 minutes, listening to him wrangle with the desk clerk (who was holding her own very politely -- good for you, hon!), I started to get REALLY PEEVED. It's one thing to dispute a fine, but this guy had multiple fines from multiple episodes/items and he just didn't feel that he was interested in paying.

I began my LOUD SIGHING. "Huuuuuuuuuunh." "Wheeeeeeeeeewwwww." Guaranteed to be really, really annoying and patented by my (deceased) evil grandmother. I learn from the best. So I begin my noisemaking and finally the old bastard turns around and says to me,

"Do you need something?" To which I smile evilly and reply, "Yes, I need you to stop being a cheapo and pay your bill so I can check out my books!"

He just looked at me like he couldn't believe what his fur-sprouting little ears had told him. There were several people behind me in line, and they must have looked like they were willing to back me up in the upcoming beatdown because Cheapo just left his DVDs on the counter and stalked out.

My work is here is done.

Snark.

Have 'thank-you' notes gone out of style? Is a telephone call offering appreciation now considered dated? I must be one of the last folks to say BRING BACK GOOD MANNERS!

Do I sound like a frenzied Ms. Manners?

Three weeks ago, I mailed off two boxes: one to a relative, one to a daughter of my mom's friend. Inside those boxes were nice, clean, gently-used clothes and books. Within days of mailing out both boxes, the daughter (a woman I've met only once, but like very much) emailed me a long note thanking me for my troubles and chatting on about how the items would be used. I appreciated the email; it told me that my box had made it to its destination and that the items were wanted and needed.

My relative has not contacted me in any way.

I have grumbled about this to The Illustrated Librarian. She agrees with me in that this relative and his wife are not deserving of any more boxes. To quote TIL, "Fuck them!" (I can always count on TIL to give me an honest opinion! XOXO.) This was not a box of cheap crap. It was filled with expensive clothing and books.

This is not the first time gifts to these ingrates have gone without thanks. I am also including birthday and Christmas gifts in my list of grumbles. As far as I'm concerned, these folks are now persona non grata on my gift-giving list. Just like Pete Rose, they're banned for life.

It's not that I expect them to grovel and kiss my hand for sending them a box of stuff. I would just like an acknowledgment of my time and efforts spent putting it together and mailing it to them. Or just a 'heads up' that the items arrived. Something. ANYTHING. If they no longer want boxes sent to them, they should let me know that as well.

Am I being too much of a snark about this?