I try to eat healthy... but every once in a while, I find a 'healthy' product that just ISN'T HEALTHY.
Take-- the BUMBLE BAR.
It has flax seeds in it, which are touted to have health benefits. It also is gluten-free and sugar-free. Wheat-free and dairy-free, too. It has a butt-load of sesame seeds, though. Two butt-loads, really.
What you're left with, is a SEEDY, high-calorie, high-fat, low-fiber nightmare.
How did I get intimately acquainted with the Bumble Bar? My friend's mom is a health-food champion and she mailed out 3 cases of Bumble Bars to my friend. That's over 300 of the dreaded Bumble Bars. Desperate to pawn off the bars, my friend begged me to take some. 'Some' translated into '40. Various flavors, various levels of seedy hell.
Once you bite into a bumble bar, say good-bye to clean teeth. The seeds become wedged into every crevice. (Like a bad case of parsley-teeth.) Bumble bars are also dangerous for your fillings. They taste like you're eating something stolen from the bird's feeding dish. And, by the way, stay near a bathroom for several hours after eating a Bumble Bar. One exit. No waiting.
Thus, I am now considering mailing my Bumble Bars to: all annoying family members, Osama Bin Laden, and the RNP headquarters. They're all very deserving of a Bumble Bar -- or two.
