We have a pest problem.
Not bugs. Neighbor kids.
Now that school's out, our two next-door neighbors, the LOWES' KIDS, are at home and ready to be entertained. Bored, bored, boooooored.
Ms. Lowe's, while very willing to spend hours each day picking excess lint and leaves off of her driveway, is not willing to play with her kids or take them on a vacation. She'll leave them outside for hours like unsupervised dogs. Like ill-trained mutts, they roam the neighborhood looking for other people to entertain them.
Unfortunately, our front door/carport faces the Lowes' house, so we're prime victims on the ENTERTAIN THE LOWES' KIDS list. If they were well-behaved kids, this wouldn't be so annoying, but they're like the typical ICK/UGG or TWEEDLEDEE/TWEEDLEDORK boys-- they hang around our door constantly, waiting for me or Thing1 to exit so we can 'play' with them. I play with my own kids, you couldn't PAY me to play with these two.
My first week of this has forced me to take extraordinary security measures: I look out our front-door peephole before exiting. I listen carefully for any sounds of screaming or shouting boys, and then I hustle my kids out of the immediate area ASAP. What a pain in the ass!
I know, I know...this is no way to live. SOLUTION: my next step will be to purchase a tazer. And use it on the two boys with great gusto.
3 comments:
Squirting them with a spray-bottle (or super-soaker) might also do the trick. It's supposed to be a good way to train dogs.
Although, they'd probably just think you were having some nice summer fun and playing in the water with them. Yeah, on second thought, go with the taser.
They're both particularly stupid creatures, so the water would be a thrill. Wouldn't want to encourage the little bastards, would we?
use the tazer on the mother!!!
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