Filled With Prescience...But Not Enough To Do A Damn Bit of Good.

I have psychic powers. I get a "flash" of what will happen...and then it does! Unfortunately for my career as a superhero or national spy, my prescience only seems to happen about .05 seconds before the actual event. I'm like those cartoon characters who look up, get a glimpse of the Steinway piano falling down upon them, then *SMUSH!*. Too little, too late.

Case in point, this morning's "episode"...

I was popping my daily birth control pill out of it's maddeningly small foil packet and grousing about how annoying it was to try to remove such a teeny tiny pill from a pop-through foil pack. Suddenly, I thought: "I'd better be careful, I can just see myself popping this little bugger out and having it fall down the..."

"SHIT!"

Indeed, I'd pushed too hard and the micro-pill flew out of the foil and down into the sink.

"DOUBLE SHIT!" I screamed, frantic.

For those of you fortunate enough to not have to deal with birth control pills,
let me give you a short info blurb: If you miss one of them during your 21-day
cycle, it can mess up your entire month's worth of birth control chemistry,
therefore leaving you with the possibility of being fertile. NOT WHAT I
NEED. As an extra-special bonus, if you mess up one month, the following months can be affected, as well! It means using extra birth control, aka THE DREADED CONDOM, and I'd rather not, thanks. Nasty things.

So, there I am... horrified, and pissed off because I'd just thought about NOT dropping the pill--using my special precognitive powers, and then I did it anyway.

Friends, I was ready to take the gooseneck off the sink and lick the pill smear out of the u-bend. Yes, I was that desperate!

Then I saw it... a beautiful shimmer of lime-green on the far side of the drain plug. The pill had gotten caught in the edge of the rubber seal on the drain plug! HOORAY!!! I immediately grabbed my tweezers and fished it out--snurfed it right down. Disaster (narrowly) averted.

And so... I continue to hone my psionic skills, attempting to use my powers for good and not evil. If I only had some more lag time, I think I could give John Edward a run for his money.

Are you psychic? Or just psychotic?