Because you asked for it...last night I infiltrated the Passion Party! Perhaps I should say I 'penetrated' the Passion Party? (Yes, Dear Reader, it's going to be that type of blog entry.)
I delayed going as long as possible because there was a pre-party before the actual sales pitch from the Passion Party Punta--PPP. The pre-party consisted of LOTS of mixed drinks (heavy on the Baccardi 121 and blue curaco) and I didn't think that I needed to be plastered to the point of embarrassing myself. Unfortunately, several of the ladies didn't seem to think that was a huge problem!
When PPP showed up with her tote bin of naughtiness, the sex-shoppers all gathered in the living room and were handed catalogs with the products and pictures inside. Since I had already been to the web site, I had pretty much seen the show. However, SEEING something in the catalog or online just isn't the same as HOLDING it in your hand.
Take, for instance, the CHOCOLATE THRILLER. Yes, it's 9'x1.75' of pure, vibrating fun. Yeep! I got scared just looking at it! When it got passed to me I must admit that thoughts of rogue elephants from the Discovery Channel passed through my mind. For experienced users, only, I think. (Or flexible ones--yowch!)
If you have ever seen 'Sex and the City' you'll remember Charlotte's obsession with THE RABBIT. Carrie and the other ladies have to have an intervention with Charlotte and take her Rabbit away from her--she's burning the batteries out. Now, they have the TWIN RABBIT. Good for boy/girl or boy/boy entertainment. I can see why people have to be forcibly seperated from this little honey. Ha! Speaking of toys in a similar vein...check out the PURPLE BEAVER, also on the same page. This one had a mean face. Not conducive to romantic adventures. Who could could take a man seriously when he was wearing a scowling purple beaver on his penis?
Toward the end of the party, I had held every vibrator, bullet, c-ring, and duster in the catalog. I'd tasted 33 types of lubes, jells, and body lotions. My arms were shiny with pheromone-laden love dust. I was ready to get OUT! I placed my order -- some treats for The Illustrated Librarian and her far-away ArmyGuy, and a book for me, TICKLE HIS PICKLE. If there is anything interesting that blogland needs to know about, I'll be sure to let you know.
I don't think I'd go out of my way to attend a Passion Party again. I confess, I was bored with the toy selection (ben-wa balls again?) and most of the lotions seemed geared toward teenie-boppers. There were some amusing moments, like when a very prim, matronly neighbor of mine shrieked out CUNT! during the Name-a-Naughty-Word game... but all in all, YAWN.
At least I made it home in time to see the last half of Battlestar Galactica. I like my hardware dangerous.
4 comments:
You see readers...this is why Infomatrix is my best friend and I love her--she thought of ME at the Passion Party!! Not every friend would do that!
I can't wait to get--and use--my treats when I hook up with ArmyGuy next month. Infomatrix's treats, plus those on loan from XCircMan (I love you too, honey!) are going to make for one wild vacation!!
I can not possibly imagine what is in store for me, but you are certainly one hell of a friend to have gone and gotten us such a gift. I will consider it as full repayment for my recent public service announcement on your behalf.
I don't know, ArmyGuy, after you see what I bought for you, you might not be so happy... TIL will be, though! Hee hee! No, really, you'll like my little "treats". (I'd ask for a full report after you, um, use them, but, in the interest of good taste and lasting friendship--I think not.)
thanks for the infomation
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