You'd think that since I live on a military base, everything would be safe, calm, and peaceful. Well, NOOOOOO! Last night, I was rudely awakened out of a sound sleep at 2:44 a.m. by bottle rockets being launched between my house and the neighbor's house. Right outside my window, to be exact! Damn, I was PISSED! Flying out of bed, I ran rull-tilt to the back of the house and burst out onto the back, screened-in porch. Grabbing up a 2-inch thick dowel rod (I'm using them for a project) I prepared to run outside in my PJs and serve some kids a can of wooden whup-ass.
Nothing.
Not a soul to be seen. Behind our house is a service road and the little turds must have dashed up the road after lighting the rocket pack because I could hear pops and bangs from down the street. Adrenaline rushing around my body, I stood there and listened, hoping that one of them had met with an unfortunate firework accident, fallen to the ground in a writhing heap, and been abandoned by his pals -- all so I could pound him into the ground with my makeshift bat.
Nothing.
This type of early-hours mischief has been going on all summer on our street. My poor neighbor, Ms. Lowe's, has had some "problems" with these kids (she called the MPs on them once and now they're gunning for her) and she even got a dead squirrel in her mailbox! I'm not on the "bitch" list (yet) and so I think that the little twits were just playing behind my house because a) I don't have a dog outside to bark at them and b) no lights on the back of our house. I will be very, VERY thankful when school starts.
The question is: what kind of parent is letting their kid out unsupervised at 2:44 a.m. on a Tuesday night? I'm just keeping my head down, but I might need to invest in some outdoor lights for the back yard area. Like I need to spend MORE money at Lowe's? Ugh. Military kids are, for the most part, well-behaved, but we've got a load of rotten apples on my street. If I catch any of them, I'm makin' applesauce!
By the way, USMCman did wake up (sorta) right after I did and he did manage to trail behind me out to the porch. Since he was only wearing his tighty-whites, he was not really keen to go out and break kneecaps like I was. He's sitting duty tonight and won't be home. With my luck, the shit will hit the fan tonight, the kids will be out again making trouble, and I'll be embroiled in a big "incident". Doesn't it always happen that way? Wish me luck with the criminal element!
4 comments:
Too bad you don't live across the street from that yummy Provost Marshall any more...I would have loved to see HIM run outside in his tighty-whities to do just about anything!
Mmmm. Me too! The new neighbor next to me is a stand-in for Oscar the Grouch (in looks and personality) and Mr. Lowe's is a shrimpy chopper pilot. Not a lot of drool-factor for either of them. USMCman is king of "cutiepie hill" for now. Lucky him!
Hail to the king, baby.
Well TIL, I never knew about your infatuation with the provost marshal. How interesting. I'm afraid escalation isn't the answer to this problem. It starts with and ultimately has to end with the parents of the children in question. The first step is catching them red handed. Photos work well.
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